I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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