He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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