What did we do last night that was yellow?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
