But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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