What did we do last night that was yellow?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
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he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
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You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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