I can tuck mytits in my pants
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.