Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that