Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
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Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
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Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.