They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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