Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
