I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
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C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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