Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize