Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
