how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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