if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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