ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
