After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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