wrigley field is MILF paradise
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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