therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in