you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
