if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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