Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
