I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
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Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
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