your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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