You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize