the condom got lost in my hair
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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