I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
