You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
We are two peas in an std pod
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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