i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.