the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower