..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.