He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
