I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
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And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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