i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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