Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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