so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
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So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
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Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
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