And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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