I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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