I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Randomize