i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize