So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize