Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize