Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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