We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
