Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
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I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
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The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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