He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
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is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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