YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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