Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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