You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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