I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize