I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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