Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
