he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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