I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
