she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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